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ver the years, the group I played with developed unique Skitgubbe customs, variants, and even specialized Skitgubbe words. You probably didn't want to know that, but it just slipped out. Once you've played a few games, you'll understand. Oh yes. You'll learn to ridicule the hapless Goat, to smell its stench, to know the unbearable shame of Goatness when it settles upon your person. Skitgubbe is a living game, one that almost requires you to fiddle, tweak, and change it until it suits your groups' particular style. It will addict and madden you with its elusive nature until, Zen-like, you relax and let the game flow through you, your mind opening to view the clockwork beauty of its games within games. Really.

t

he game prospers through the '80's, but never gains more than a small devoted following. At any rate, two of Etan's friends (Matthew Merzbacher and Adger Williams) end up at UCLA together where they meet a Swedish major who's never heard of the game but knows how to spell it. Somehow, she manages to turn 'wheat cue-bah' (as Etan learned it) into 'Skitgubbe' which literally means 'Shit-Old Man'.

s

ince 1984 at UCLA, the game has begun to spread and variants have sprung up. The game is also known as 'Snarf and Barf' (at CalTech), 'The Evil Game', and 'Lead Goat!' (that's lead as a verb, not the element). At Duke University it's known as Skitgubbe (Skit-goobah, as opposed to Wheat-Cue-bah) since we learned it by reading the rules, not by hearing someone pronounce it properly. Skit-goobah's fun to say, anyway. In any case, the game continues to delight and amaze audiences everywhere.

learning tip

The first half of the game is much harder to understand than the second half. If you want to learn the game, it's easier to arbitrarily deal each player part of the deck and run through the second half a couple of times. Remember to choose trump!

strategy tip

The number of cards you obtain in the first part is not as important as their ranking. A few low cards will lose you the game, while you can hold half the deck and win (or, more correctly, not lose) easily.

A.	After shuffling, draw a card off the deck and set it aside without looking at it. This card will determine the trump suit in the second part of the game. Don't worry about it for now, just set it aside.

B.	Deal each player three cards. At ALL times (during the first part) everyone must maintain a three card hand by drawing from the deck, until there is no more deck to draw from.

C.	A series of rounds are played until the deck is exhausted AND one person is required to play a card and can't because they're out of cards. A round consists of each player making exactly one play and (optionally) any legal sluffs he wishes.

D.	The initial leader is the Goat (the loser) of the previous game. From then on, she who wins a trick leads for the next trick. At the start of a session, someone must volunteer to be honorary Goat.

E.	Here's the structure of a round:

1.	The leader begins by playing either playing a card from his hand OR turning over the top card of the deck.

skitgubbe custom

It is customary to tap the deck before flipping a card. Don't ask why. You cannot change your mind and play from your hand once the deck is tapped.

2.	On his turn, each player makes a single play in a similar fashion with one Important Restriction. This means you can play: high, low, any suit, from your hand or flip a card -- it doesn't matter as long as you follow the Important Restriction.

important restriction

If you have a card of the same RANK (suit doesn't matter) as the highest card played thus far, then you MUST PLAY THAT CARD (if you have two, then one will do). You MUST make this play. Cheaters will be dogpiled.

3.

At ANY TIME during the round a player may SLUFF any number of cards, providing they follow the rules for sluffing. Sluffing is simple. If you have a card in your hand that matches in rank something that's been played so far this round, you can SLUFF your card, i.e., take that card out of your hand and stick it face up with the others on the table. Be sure and draw that hand back up to three cards after each sluff. You must, however, abide by the following Important Restrictions.

sluffing restriction #1	If you have not played yet, you MAY NOT sluff a card matching the top card played so far. That is, if you have a King and an Ace, and someone plays a King before you, you can't sluff your King and play your Ace unless someone else before you plays an Ace first. Your King matches the high card so far and must be your play. After your play, you can sluff anything you want (that matches a card played thus far).
sluffing restriction #2	You CANNOT sluff on what will be the last trick until it is determined that you won't be getting it. This rule keeps people from sluffing like mad to end the round prematurely (you'll understand later).
sluffing etiquette	Things can get pretty crazy during a round, what with everyone sluffing like crazy. It's easy to lose track of who's turn it is to actually play. When you're first learning, it's helpful for everyone to announce 'play' or 'sluff' as they play a card(s).
advanced terminology	Pluff, as in P(lay) + (S)luff: combining a play and a sluff, laying down more than one card in one smooth, fluid-like motion. This advanced move often confuses novice players, but brings knowing nods from Skitgubbe masters.

4.

After one round of this playing and sluffing madness, the player who PLAYED (sluffs don't count) the highest ranking card WINS the round. In the case of a tie for highest ranking card, there is a WAR. A war is just like a mini-trick between all players who played the highest rank. Other players don't get to play, but can sluff (following the rules, of course) on any card. The leader for the war is the player who made the first high-card play before (i.e., the nearest to the original leader's left). Further ties must be resolved by wars until there is one winner. Cards played before may be sluffed (by either player) and have no bearing on the winner of the trick. That is, even if the original war was about a tie of Aces, a 7 could win the war. In any case, the eventual winner collects all the cards played and sluffed for the round and sets them face down in front of him for use in Part 2.

war terminology

A war is properly called a two-off, ten-off, and so on, depending on the rank of the warring cards. Sophisticated Skitgubbe players DO NOT snigger at certain face card wars.

F.

Play continues until one player is required to play and cannot because they are out of cards, i.e., if any player is out of cards at the end of a round, Part 1 is over. This usually happens at the end of a round, but might occur in the middle of a war. If this happens, then everyone (including those not involved in the war) take back the cards they played on this trick. Part 1 is now over, and the previous trick is the 'final trick' (see 7, below). This is the only way anyone should ever have more than three cards in their hand in Part 1.

G.	You MUST maintain a three card hand as long as there are cards to replenish it. DO NOT wait for others to draw or play. Just draw as fast as you can. Remember, however, that only a cad would draw a card from the deck between a 'tap' and the following flip.

H.	Remember who won the final trick -- it's important.

A.	At this point, some (or all) people have taken tricks and have cards face down in front of them. Some may also have cards left in their hand from Part 1. These are COMBINED to form your hand for Part 2.

B.	Trump is announced for Part 2. Remember the card you pulled from the deck at the start of Part I? Flip that card over and announce the suit, which is now the official trump suit. Leave the card face up somewhere so everyone can see it.

C.

If there are ANY players holding fewer than six cards at this point, then ALL players (including those with too few cards) dump the 2-5 of each suit and the 6 of trump (i.e., the 2-5 of each suit and the 2-6 of trump) into a pile in the middle of the table. This is the DRECK, and should consist of 16 or 17 cards, depending on whether the trump determining card was a 2-6. The Goat shuffles the Dreck ('Goat, the Dreck, please') and the cards are distributed as evenly as possible to those who lacked 6 cards. Note that you DO NOT take part in the distribution of the Dreck if your contribution put you under the 6 card limit. That is, only players holding fewer than 6 BEFORE dumping are included in the division. It is often the case that the Dreck cannot be distributed evenly amongst the potential Goatees. In this case, deal the cards into a number of piles and let the players choose whichever pile they want. Some players like taking piles with extra cards -- more chance of getting trump (which is danged important in Part 2). Others like taking fewer cards -- the point of Part 2 is getting rid of cards. In case of a squabble, the person sitting downstream of the strongest hand from part one should get first choice. Or, dogpile everyone and see who comes up first.

advanced strategy

You can win (not be the Goat) and play nary a card in Part 2. Really. All you have to do is take at least six cards which are all ranked 2-5 and have at least one other person take fewer than six cards in Part I (exercise left to the reader). It is customary to bow humbly before such Skitgubbe virtuosity.

A.	Everyone now has a hand. Sort your hand by suit (and by rank within suit). The only player who might be out of cards is the Skitgubbe Virtuoso who managed to go out during the intermission (see Advanced Strategy, above).

B.

The object of Part 2 is to get rid of all your cards. It doesn't matter when you go out (unless you go out last) because there's no winner, just one loser. The last person with cards is now the Goat, and is heaped with derision and scorn. After the customary taunting (see below), the cards are gathered, the deck shuffled, and Part I begins again. The Goat leads for the next game ('Lead, Goat!')

goat baiting

To the newly dubbed Goat, everyone says, 'Skitgubbe, du luktar som en get', which translates loosely as 'Shit, old man, you smell like a Goat' in Swedish. This is followed by a period of improvisatory ridiculing. References to the Goat's stench are funny, especially if accompanied by appropriate hand gestures. Goat sounds are also funny.

C.	This part of the game has a very simple rule -- BEAT IT or EAT IT.

D.	The cards retain their original ordering (Ace high) except that trumps are higher than anything else (the two of trumps is higher than any other Ace).

E.

For the duration of Part 2, the definition of a 'single' card is changed. The new definition of a 'card' is: two or more cards of the same suit that have adjacent rank, e.g., the 4-5 of Spades is a single card, the 9-J of diamonds is a single card. When you play from your hand (beat it), you get to CHOOSE when this definition applies. If, for example, you have the 5-6 of diamonds, you could play both cards as a 'single' card, or you could play them one at a time. Remember, it's your CHOICE when you play from your hand. When you pick up (eat it), the definition ALWAYS applies.

F.	The play proceeds as follows:

1.	One player leads any CARD they like. Initially, this is the person taking the last trick in part 1 of the game. After that, it depends on the play.

2.	In order, each player must either 'beat it, OR eat it':

a.	Beat it: play a higher 'card' than the highest card on the table. Your 'card' can be more than one actual card if they're the same suit and sequential in rank (per our definition of single card). A player is NEVER forced to beat it if they don't want to.

b.

Eat it: pick up the lowest card from the table and add it to your hand. In this case, you MUST take the lowest card in the worst sense of the word. That is, you MUST pick up the lowest card, and ALL cards of the same suit that 'touch it' in an unbroken sequence. Example: The 3-9, Q-K of clubs are on the table and you choose to pick up. You must pick up 3-9. You cannot pick up Q-K (it's not the low card) and can't, say, just take the 3 because that would break up the 'card'.

3.	A higher card is either a trump or a card in the suit led. That is, if diamonds are led you may not play anything to this trick other than diamonds or trump. Once a trump is played, you must play a higher trump to 'beat it'.

4.	The trick is over when either:

a.	All the cards have been picked up (the table is bare) in which case the next person who would have played (the player after the last picker-upper) gets to lead for the next trick, OR

b.

There are N plays on the table where N is the number of players who were still playing at the start of the trick (some may have gone out during the trick - that's OK, N is still the same). This is called a KILL. The cards are all removed from play (they're gone for this game - back for the next) and the player who made the killing play gets to lead for the next trick.

G.	That's it. he who last left with cards is GOAT. After the customary ridiculing, shuffle all the cards and start over with the first part.

strategy tip

Don't use up all your trump too early, unless you're in the 5 player game, where the rule might (might!) be 'trump early, trump often'. There are many approaches to the game. Try them all. If you have an overpowering hand (lots of trump), making the person on your left the Goat is EASY. Try using your power to make the person on your RIGHT the Goat.

player 1	player 2	player 3
8 3 5	3 3 2	A A 2

Player 1 was the Goat from the last game (or took the previous trick) and leads the 3 (remember, suite is irrelevant in Part 1 of the game). Now, Player 2 doesn't want this trick, but must play one of her 3's because it is the highest card played thus far. She could then (if she wished) sluff the other 3 (which she does), and get two new cards for her hand. At this point, Player 1 has drawn one new card (to replace the 3) and player 2 has drawn two new cards (to replace her 3's). Player 3 doesn't want the 3's, so he plays his 2 (and draws to replenish his hand). This trick is over except that two players (1 & 2) tie for the high ranking card. There is now a war (a 3-off) between Players 1 & 2. Player 3 can sluff anything into this trick that matches rank. Here's how the hands and the pot looks now:

player 1	player 2	player 3	pot
8 7 5	Q J 2	A A 5	3 3 3 2

Player 2, in a fit of sluffing madness sluffs in her 2 before the war begins. This is legal, even thought Player 1 might have a 2. If this were the final trick, however, such a sluff would be illegal (you have to guess if it might be the final trick -- you can't be too sure). She replenishes from the deck with the 9. It looks bad for her. Now, since Player 1 played first in the original trick, he must lead to the war. Not wanting the trick, he leads his 5. Player 3 can immediately sluff, but decides to hold off. Player 2, holding 3 winning cards is cursing her sluffing of the 2 and 3's earlier. Rather than take the trick outright, she taps the deck, flips the top card of the deck and gets... the 4 -- low enough to give the trick to Player 1. Before Player 1 takes the trick away, Player 3 sluffs in the 5 and replenishes his hand. Now Player 1 takes his winnings and puts them face down in front of him (for use in the Part 2 of the game). He then leads a card and the next trick begins.

player	play
1	leads 2-3
2	plays 7-8-9
3	doesn't want to (or can't) play above 9, so picks up the 2-3
4	plays 10-J
1	doesn't want to (or can't) play above J, so picks up the 7-8-9-10-J (because they all touch)
2	can now lead as they like because the table is clear

player	play	comments
1	leads 2-3	one play on table
2	plays 7-8-9	two plays on table
3	doesn't want to (or can't) play above 9 so picks up the 2-3	one play on table
4	plays 10-J	one card on table, two plays on table
1	plays 2 (trump) and goes out	three plays on table, N still = 4
2	picks up 7-8-9-10-J	one play on table
3	plays 5	two plays on table
4	plays 7-8	three plays on table
1	has gone out so does not play	three plays on table
2	plays A	four plays on table, which kills the trick because N=4. The 2, 5, 7-8, and A are removed from play and player 2 gets to lead. Now, and only now, N is reduced to 3.

A.	You need 12 cards (not 6) to avoid splitting the Dreck.

B.

In Part II, you can only play one of a card at a time. That is, if you have both 6's of clubs, you'll have to play them separately. Of course, if you have both 5's and 7's, then you still only need 2 plays (one set on each play). What's bad is when you have a 6-7-8 and the player before you plays the 5-6-7. You must split your group and play the 8 (or play something higher).

first	5
second	3
third	1
goat	-5
everyone else	0